Painful Memories

Last night was just about the roughest night Ive had in the longest. All the late nites I spent thinking of my problems and crying over the past dont amount to how I feel right now. After seeing everyones away messages and looking at his facebook page its like you gotta believe its true but im just not ready to accept it yet. No not yet. My mind keeps going back to my two favorite memories of him. One from at his cousins b day party a year ago. It ended with a fight and I was in the street crying cause I couldnt find my ex who is his friend and he stayed by my side and even though he know I was tripping he made sure I didn't leave that house until I saw and spoke 2 my ex then he checked on me the next day and didn't even clown me for acting a damn fool over nothing. My other memory is last June at a kickback when he found out me and my ex weren't together anymore and he pulled me to the side asked me why and when I told him and began to cry he really comforted me and apologized for him. It may seem a lil corney but its so true. That's the caring loving kind of guy he was. Im really like making myself sick over all of this its really too much. And this is only day 2. I don't know how we all are going to get through this. I believe everything happens for a reason but I can't understand this one. I keep thinking why did he have to get shot? Why didn't the dude freak out and shoot his self? It just wasn't his time I guess. Doesn't seem fair that it was Roberts time either but God makes no mistakes. Some people you wonder about when they die. You hope they lived their life accordingly and will end up in heaven. I know Robert is in Heaven looking down on us hoping there is something he could do to stop our pain . . . Love you man!!!!!

April 29, 1988 - April 6, 2009