So its day 3. Each day gets a lil easier to make it through but I know in a week Ill be saying my final good-bye. Its still so surreal to me. Yesterday I spent abt 5hrs with his family reflecting on all the good times and gave some pics to show in the slide show they're going to have I can say that was the first time I thought about him with out a tear coming to my eye. We saw all of our prom pics and pics of him in all his silly moments like the pic of me and my ex at Six Flags the day after prom where its supposed to be just me and my ex and he came in the pic blowin kisses lol oh and the pic of him in the drill team girls outfit hahahaha . . . memories, precious memories.
Today is a day of mixed emotions. Its a good feeling to have someone care for you but its hard when you care for the person too but not quite in the same way. Its like a battle because I want a relationship and who better than with him but I still have this I dont know in the back of my mind. Part of it is I think Im too much for him. I do a lot of things he doesnt care for, go a lot of places he would prefer me not to go, but still Im the one he wants. Wow . . . maybe Im in disbelief. He's really an amazing guy. Ive known him for the longest and he has never changed towards me. I gotta get my feelings in order and figure out what it is I want before he falls too deep and I hurt him. That would be the worst dont wanna do that . . .
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