Life is Beautiful as Ever when it Pans out .. .. ..

Im not feeling like my self too much rite now. Im not sure who I feel like, it just dont feel like me if that makes any sense. Im kinda on a me search right now. I know who I was now Im trying to see who Im going to be. I feel a full transformation coming on, love life, financial situation, car situation, home life .. .. .. all that shit! No more holding on to what - ifs or shoulda coulda wouldas. Everything prior to this day has to be left in the past where it belongs. Relationships mostly. Not that I dont know how to move on but it takes a lot for me to let someone into my heart and life that once Im supposed to let em go its a void that seems so hard to fill so I end up letting them back into my life even if just as a friend. And after all this back and forth Ive been subject to I dnt think ex's with a big history can be friends. Too many feelings and so much love lost. All those feelings mix together to make a big painful disaster. Its just all bad. Im even playin with the thought of moving again. Hey Ill be 21 in a few days so Vegas is sounding a lil nice lol. But then I dont knw. We shall see what's in store in the coming months. Wish me luck!