Damn This Feeling!

So its April 4th meaning its the morning after the night of April 3rd . . . boy was that a nite! I dont know how Im about to make it through these 5 hours of work today like this. Woke up this morning and my head was just spinning! Somehow last nite I found some excitement after I got dressed and When I got there I was really feeling the atmosphere . . . untill I went back to the old me and had me a lil drink. Your tolerance really goes down if you havent done it in a while and boy was I gone! And its something about liquor that makes me see things for what they really are. I had a couple of eye opening experiences that leads me to the point where I wont be making calls, writing text messages or excepting any of those as a matter of fact to/from a few people. Its too much to deal with and all of it is pretty pointless.

Question is if I know all this why do I continue to go?? Now thats the million dollar question. There used to be a certain excitement about it all then when that wore off it was the thrill of watching the drama behind it all then when you become apart of the drama its like whoa what am I doing here. You move from each step so fast that before you know it youre sucked in. Only thing I know for sure is Im not going back and Im not drinking anymore this is like the longest blog ever written because when Im writing I forget how I feel lol. I got a headache out this world and my stomach is cussing me out. All I keep thinking is U CANT THROW UP AT WORK!!!!!!!!!!!! How disgusting would that be. Im so sick and tired I made a copy and damn near fell asleep leaning over the copy machine! Its bad, reaaaalllll bad. But bright side is its only an hr and a half till closing and hopefully they just lemme go!