Gift From Virgo

I wish I could look in your eyes
And tell you how I feel Right now inside
Baby I know that it's real
So real so real, so real
How I wish I could be with you
How I wish I wish I wish I could be with you right now
Every morning, every afternoon, every night I wanna be with you
It don't matter if we go to the park or watch a play
Stay in the hotel room all day I just wanna be with you
I love everything about you from your old school tennis shoes
To the way you move when you're dancing with me
Do you remember our first kiss
It wasn't long enough
Remember the first time we spent those weeks together
They were not long enough
All of our conversations all of your sweet pages
They're never long enough
When it's time for me to leave it's so hard to say good-bye
I never want to say good-bye
I never ever want to say good-bye
One day we'll make love
Finally I'll be yours
Only you only you I could love you
It's too late I already love you
I love you I love you I love you

-Beyonce "Gift From Virgo"

R.I.P. Michael Jackson

Man I'm still in shock about his death. I was at work when it happened and my co workers and I just wouldn't believe it. We were all on google on different sites comparing what we were seeing. I didn't believe it till I heard Big Boy on Power 106 giving his condolences. Man even though I'm young I grew up on MJ! I remember being lil listening to the Jackson 5 thinking they were sooo cool. I thought he was my age until I fell in love with the "Bad" album and was like hey he's older than my parents! Dude is amazing and its still a lil surreal to turn the channel to BET and see a marathon of music videos being played in memory of him. I can see my kids bumping some music like this is my song! Then I see myself giving them a lil music history lesson like my mom used to do me with Public Enemy lol "that's not original music!" "that's a sample!! music just ain't how it used to be" ..... MJ ur memory will live on. Gone but never forgotten

Fathers Day 2009

This by far was the best Fathers Day I think I ever had! Although the day isn't about me I really enjoyed this one. Its been almost 7yrs on the dot since I spent this day with my own Father. So I got a call from my Dad asking if I would be up to going out with him to Universal Studios and I was like umm YEAH!! So we go and had a nice lil day with dinner at Aunt Kizzies after. I'm really starting to feel like the missing pieces to my puzzle are really coming together sigh..... 

Song of the Day

"My girls all call me crazy

Cause Im out here callin you baby

I shouldnt have let you hit that

Cause now I cant forget that

I thought I wouldnt really give a fuck

But now a bitch all in love

Don’t mean to be a hater

But ooo .... shit .... damn .... you so good!"
Electrik Red - "So Good"

Man Im really on Electrik Red cause I swear a lot of their songs are saying exactly how a girl be feeling sometimes! If you aint heard them go listen now!

Boredom

I have this problem where nothing really excites me. Especially in the work place. Ive never been at a job more than a yr and a half and its all because the thrill of learning something new is gone and replaced wit the redundant act of doing the same shit everyday. I really don't know what I should do to make sure I'm content with what ever it is I do. Money is the motivation so maybe if I get somewhere where I can make enough money then I wont care about not feeding my need for knowledge .... I don't know. Now that I think about it, school is my answer. Still want a new job making more doing something different but I'll have my fix at the same time being in school being able to gain some sort of knowledge. This whole teller thing is too played. I'm standing all day, dealing with these stupid customers who are too lazy to read the slip for what type of transaction their doing. Ugh! Their stupidity is starting to get to me. Everyone used to say how much I smile and how happy I always seem to be. I haven't heard that comment in a long time cause I can bet I'm the angry black girl at the branch lol. Only fake smiles and attitude smh. Not the way it should be. I think a City job may be calling my name .....

Content

I finally made my progress .... last night was my Aunt on my Dad's side surprise b day party and instead of chickening out, I actually went! I was filled with anxiety all week about last night .... will my Dad be there? Will he bring Kamron? How will I react?

So I walk into the Grand Event Center with my friends and the first person I saw was my cousin Sommer. Before I could really say hi my uncle Cece grabbed me and took me over to my Dad and we just hugged forever as I was shaking in his arms and crying. I turned around to be greeted by the rest of the fam and all the cameras. Then I see this lil boy on the side of me and someone says something about Kamron .... I was like whoa this is my lil brother???!!! And he is so cute and precious, he loves his big sis and I love him even more. So we all did a lil catching up and a whole lot of dancing. Man we a goofy fam lol. It was a lovely night and I wish it didn't have to end. Especially since when it was over my lil bro almost cried to have to part from me. If nothing else I promise to stay in touch with him. Omg it was most definitely a night to remember. And now I'm content ......

12:34am

Its more than just a time. More like a memory that can never go away. Good, bad .... happy, sad. Bet he doesn't even have a clue what it means to me. Sometimes when I feel as if I miss him I look for it to be 12:34am hoping I'll have some sort of contact from him. Silly but true. No matter how long we go without speaking, no matter how much I claim to despise this guy .... it seems as if he will always be around. History is bound to repeat its self but if I re-write the present maybe I'll see a different outcome. Friendship is all I really want. Nothing more nothing less. But friendship is what I seem to not be able to get. Too bad fairy tale endings don't exist in real life. Funny how I'm writing this and "Simple Kind of Life" comes on. LOL dammit Gwen didn't need to hear that right now but hey time will tell where I end up i n this situation .....

UCLA Undie Run

Last nite was the UCLA Undie Run ..... what an experience lol. I had soooo much fun! I dont know why its called an Undie RUN when I didnt run at all lol. Well I lied .... we ran half a block only because we parked sooooo effin far and we wanted to be with the rest of the half naked people in Westwood lol. I most likely will be at the next one ...... I was bein all shy this time since it was my 1st time and all but the next one Ima really do it hehehehe

YAWN!!!!

Sooooo ....

Its my friends birthday weekend and to kick off the celebration we went to our club (btw if you happen to watch VH1 after 10pm and have TIVO and you see a commercial for a club with me in it record it so I can see it lol. I just cant seem to catch it!) and it was poppin! Of course it was the few people you just cant stand because they really think they running things in there which they're NOT! But its something we're all used to by now. It was overly crowded but it was a crowded we all could deal wit. Everybody was dancing, laughing .... no fights. My friend B day has most definitely started off with a bang. Im glad it did because I wont be in there anymore. I see too many people in there that I knw have been in there almost half of their lives and I just CANNOT be one of them. And its kinda gettin in between some things and its not really worth it right now ....


But being out partying all nite has major consequences .... today is the1st day of our extended hours at work so now we close at 4 instead of closing at 1 so I gotta find some energy and get through this day .... omg and I gotta stop yawning! Lol

Gloomy Like The Weather

"I need drug money,

Who got drug money?

I am talking white Phantom sitting on dub money

I am talking cold champagne at the club money

And no I ain't emotional but baby I love money .... "
- Drake "The Presentation"

Man I know money cant buy you happiness and that with money comes other problems and issues but dammit just a lil more would solve a lot of problems! Debt is one bad bitch. Being only 21 and having the debt since 19 makes it that much worse. SMH well I guess when the going gets tough I just gotta step up and get a lil tougher myself. Its just a lot to deal with when you feel as if you just dug yourself out of a hole and once you step away you fall right into another one. Its cool though cause for once I sort of have a plan. I just gotta grind a lil harder for the rest of the yr and by early 2010 I should be straight. Thats enough self pitty for the day ... problems now pushed to the back of my mind so I can continue with my day ....